Mama’s musings - By Lani Goins, Special to the Bethlehem Press - Waiting
As I have mentioned before, I have been waiting three years for a divorce decree. Waiting is #%%#. One of young son James’ favorite stories is an Elephant and Piggie book by Mo Wilhems, titled “Waiting is not Easy.” No, it isn’t! Waiting is #%%#.
There are a ton of sayings about waiting. “Waiting is the hardest part.” Yeah. “Good things come to those who wait.” Uh huh, who is waiting for something bad to happen? “Waiting for the world to change.” I think everyone feels that way sometimes. “After a while, waiting gets boring.” Mmmn, I’d say it gets tiresome. Or frustrating. Oh, and I just love this one… “Patience is learned through waiting.”
True, waiting requires patience, I’ve never had much of that. I often paint my nails. Frequently, at least one will be smudgy, because I couldn’t wait for the polish to dry before moving on to something else. I remember counting down the days until I finished college. I started counting down at 100 days to go. When my oldest was due to be born, I was expecting she would arrive on or before her due date. She was late. Three days late. I think those were the longest three days of my life. I’m also certain I was not much fun to be around. The summer my oldest son Erick was on the Charter Arts waiting list dragged on and on. I sent my editor a bunch of messages after I sent my first two columns to him, asking when it would be published. The wait until the first one came out was akin to waiting for a baby to arrive. The time waiting for the divorce has been torturous.
The tough thing about divorce is there is no set end date. I don’t believe the process should be super quick. After all, a lot of time goes into a marriage, and dissolving it should not be simple. But a set time period or end date would be nice.
One of my aunts passed away last year. I don’t think she ever divorced her ex, but they lived apart for many years. It worked for her, but I don’t want that life. I will probably keep my last name the same, just because it is my children’s last name, too. But I don’t want to be married to their father in any way, not even if it’s just on paper.
No, waiting isn’t easy. In the Elephant and Piggie story, the characters are waiting for sundown, to see the stars, only Elephant does not know what they are waiting for, and he gets pretty impatient. In the end, when he sees the night sky, he declares it was “worth the wait.”
That is the moment I am waiting for.